TEAM
Body, group, force, gang, unit.

A group of two or more organized to work together.

At the start of my “fitness journey,” I always focused on working alone. I wanted to figure everything out for myself. I did not want to share my goals, my process, progress or emotions. Up until that point, I suffered an eating disorder and surrounded myself with people who did not have my best interests at heart. In essence, I thrived off of negativity (both people and circumstances). I felt that anger was the best fuel for success.

Every goal for me was some sort of “fight” in life, versus just a challenge. Over time, I built this resentment for life and everyone in it and did not even understand why. I always felt alone. I had many people around me but I always felt alone. One might assume I suffered some sort of depression, and this was very much so.

It is only in the last two years that I recognized my own cynicism. Furthermore, I came to terms with the main problem: pushing people away…not allowing any support; not emotionally, intellectually or even physically. Being such an emotional person, closing up like a clam causes extreme anxiety.
As I have grown, more positivity has entered, while even more negativity has been removed. I am better equipped with a more efficient “filtering of life junk,” if you will. Consequently, more people have become involved in my training, albeit for bodybuilding or now, powerlifting.
With a history of body shaping and figure competing my training has always been individual. For the first time since high school, powerlifting has enforced the performance and spiritually enhancing benefits of a team.

Recent events have brought me to think about all the teams that exist out there. Spouses, families, occupations, sports…they all function best when treated like a team, and fail easily when each party focuses only on themselves.

There are those out there who feel embarrassed to admit they need people to succeed. I find this immature and ignorant. The truth is, we all will not necessarily die without a team backing us up. However, we will function more whole heartedly, with a more positive approach to life and people as a whole.

I no longer thrive off of that anger anymore. There is more love in my heart and I feel at peace. Of course, from time to time when faced with several hundred pounds to lift I will get a fire inside me…but it is no longer against people, it is passion.
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