I was approached by a young woman in need of help with her binge eating habits. She was so distraught by the impact of her episodes on her physical body and emotional health that she did not know where to turn. She described having challenges with sticking to her diet, ultimately ending in binge sessions from time to time. Below is my response to her. I feel that many people can relate to this.

“First, you need to know everything you mentioned is more common than you think, from ‘just’ wanting to taste more goodness, to ‘just’ to feel full and ultimately the berating voices telling you that you are a failure and should just give up on your diet. I, too, have experienced it time and time again.

All emotions aside, you struggle with the issue most people have — the all or none. When you have deviated from your ‘plan’ (eating just what you planned to consume), you feel like you have globally messed up and say ‘f*** it’ by eating everything you want. You probably even start to eat things you don’t actually want at that moment of bingeing simply because you have craved it at some point recently…trying to ‘get it all in’ if you will.

Additionally, you are apparently trying to drop weight/fat. Anyone on a calorie/carb/fat restricted diet will encounter ravenous moments of hunger and/or cravings. The key is to accept these moments will come and plan ahead at how to deal with them. You must not rely on will power because your body is speaking to you and you know by experience this has not stopped you. So, you must establish if-then scenarios:

IF – I still feel hungry/need to feel full
THEN- I will eat more vegetables

IF – I need something sweet
THEN – I will eat a sugar free Popsicle

IF – I want cake
THEN – I will eat a 1″ slice and do an extra session of cardio this week

Etc…

The hardest skill in weight loss and weight maintenance is compromise. No one, not even competitors in my sport of bodybuilding, are 100% on their diet. We have mess ups. But what most have developed is compromise. The reason is because we know that one piece of cake is NOT going to mess us up..an entire cake will! If when you feel a binge start tell yourself your body CAN afford a little deviation and STILL lose weight, it might help you to stop. Compromise might entail eating less carbs the next day and adding another workout in the week.

Sometimes bingeing gives us a sense of power–‘I’m going to eat whatever I want and no one can stop me.’ You must strive for the other end of the power spectrum –‘I am going to have some dessert and I have the power over my body to stop there.’ It is hard, and has taken me years.

You mustn’t ever accept that food is ONLY fuel. It is not! Food and eating is a part of our social culture. It is a source of fuel, joy and comrardery. Food is like money. Money is a source of survival but it also enables us to enjoy fun activities, travel, meet new people, broaden our education and experiences.

Again, you must accept that you enjoy food but engage Power to control how you go about consuming your food. There are absolutely no ‘evil’ foods out there. Animals, dairy, desserts, fruits, candy and vegetables all serve a purpose. The more you tell yourself you must not have Nor WANT certain foods, the more you will want to rebel.

I will tell you something I did that changed my life in terms of eating clean and preparing for a body building show…

The scary part about body building is that you have a time frame and very extreme specific aesthetic goal. A binge WILL hurt your progress at the end phase and the pressure to be in control of your body’s needs is vital. At the end of my prep, I usually have to do 2 hours of cardio a day and lift 1-1.5 hours a day, all for 6 days a week. With this training, I might eat between 1000-1200 calories max and consume as low as 25-75g carbs (carb cycling throughout the week). In the past, I wouldn’t so much as lick anymore food than was written on my diet sheet. I felt like an extra green bean would be the end all (competing makes you psycho lol). As I was entering contest prep in 2010, I did a lot of re evaluation of contest prep. Logically, with everything I am doing (hard dieting, long, intense and numerous workouts), a little extra food here and there could not possibly ruin everything. Additionally, I wanted to gain control over being able to have a little cheat and walk away without deviating so much from my diet. I decided to try something very scary for me… I would stick to my eating to the T every day, but would stop by raleys every morning after the gym on the way to work and get three chocolate covered almonds. I was not ready to buy a big bulk and keep it at home just yet. I was real with myself and accepted my limits. By the time I got on stage I was in the best condition up to that point and was awarded my first trophy! I was on cloud nine. Not only did I get to have some sweets every day up to the show, but I was able to place and could from then on out handle a deviation and walk away.

The next show prep, I listened more to my body. If it needed more one Day, I would give it A LITTLE of what it needed — if more protein and veggies wouldn’t do it, I would eat an extra carb meal and pick up the next day w my diet. After the chocolate covered almonds trial, I became more intuitive with my body and was able to distinguish between a craving and an absolute need.

Back to you…

I think the biggest issue with all of this (binge eating, etc) is that we feel alone. We feel like the losers that cannot stick with a plan. The truth is everyone experiences stuff like this, albeit binge eating, binge shopping, binge cleaning, and so on. You must accept your limits, accept your triggers and plan ahead for when cravings and hunger will attack. You are in control, and if you get off track, you will make it up somehow–more exercise or less food the next day.”